August 09, 2011

Dorm Food

College is starting.  The smell of dorm cooked food is in the air.  You slowly waft in that tasty smelling microwaveable food, slowly forgetting what home cooked food tastes like.  Then it hits you:  you haven't had fruit or vegetables in weeks.  You've slowly been gaining weight eating nothing but Doritos and cafeteria food while sipping on coffee and Mountain Dew...



It's official, you're a college kid living in a dorm.

But what is one to do when you live in a dorm with access only to a microwave oven?  I mean, the there's always the community/floor oven.  Hahaha, yeah, fuck that.  The first time you cook on that oven, you'll suddenly be approached by people you've never seen, claiming they know you from that one party.  Remember?  Yeah, that was one hell of a party, bro.  Now can I have some of your food?

"Get the hell away from my steak."

So, you've got access to your dorm microwave and some money from that shitty job you work at (or rich parents, in which case: fuck you).  Here's what you're going to want to do:


  • Buy Ramen.  Now don't half ass this. Find when it goes on "sale".  A store will usually price a huge box of Ramen for $1 at some point in the year.  And no, you're not going to live off this stuff you lazy shit.  It has no nutritional value.
  • Get your weak ass some frozen vegetables.  At this point, I'm assuming you have a fridge/freezer in your dorm, because if you don't, you're an idiot.  I'd recommend the following:
    • Frozen broccoli
    • Frozen green beans
    • Frozen stir fry or similar
  • Buy some juice.  And I mean JUICE.  As in, check the percentage of juice it contains. 

That's a good start for helping you stave off starvation.  Drink plenty of water instead of carbonated beverages.  When you can't handle water any more, drink some juice.

When your wallet gets tight on cash and you can't eat out, make some Ramen with some of your frozen vegetables.  The Ramen will help fill you up, and the vegetables will provide some actual nourishment.

2 comments:

Henry said...

The frozen vegetables are a must, I agree. On the other hand, don't go with the ramen. It's a stereotypical college food, yes, but that doesn't mean you should fulfill it. If you're having ramen then I assume you have the capability to boil water. Get a pound of rice (parboiled if you can) and learn to cook that instead. It fills you up better and gives you energy. On sale for 50 cents a pound is a good price. In addition, try and get a multi-vitamin (flintstones, w/e) to bridge the gap when you get hectic and start missing meals.

Skylark Lenny said...

Ramen with frozen vegetables. It will give the appearance of putting effort into a meal but the satisfaction of instant gratification. ;P

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